The past few days, we’ve enjoyed beautiful Belize! It’s a country I’ve wanted to visit since my seventh grade Social Studies teacher, Mr. Marlin, made a variety of objectively terrible Belize puns (a popular refrain was, “You better Belize it!”). I didn’t realize at the time, but the bad puns are totally embraced and leaned into by Belizeans, which made our stay even more amusing (since we were there for Christmas, there were signs everywhere saying “Belize Navidad” instead of Feliz Navidad, which was cute!).

We flew into Belize City, which is located roughly an hour and half water taxi away from Ambergris Caye and San Pedro, our final destination. After the world’s quickest layover in Panama City, Panama (we thought we had an hour and a half, but we actually had about 15 minutes given the time change), we emerged from the plane onto a steamy runway. According to the taxi driver who took us to the ferry, we were lucky that the plane wasn’t turned around, as it sounds like the storm preceding us was quite strong – we had quite a bit of severe weather during the 5 days we were there, so I believe it.

After watching everyone in line in front of us have their bags opened in customs, we… breezed right through without even a second glance at our bags. From there, it was a ~15-minute drive over to the ferry terminal.

By way of quick geographic introduction, Belize is located in Central America, just south of the Yucatán in Mexico along the Caribbean (in fact, I’m writing this from the Tren Maya train to Tulum, as we got stranded in Chetumal, Mexico after our ferry from San Pedro experienced an engine failure, subsequent massive delays, and we proceeded to miss the one flight a day on AeroMéxico up to CDMX – I’m now posting this from San Miguel Allende after 36+ hours of elapsed travel time leaving Belize!). Most tourists fly into Belize City and then stay on islands just south of Tulum and Cancún, Mexico (Caye Caulker and San Pedro, which is on Ambergris Caye. As an interesting quirk of geography, Ambergris Caye is actually physically part of the Yucatán peninsula – however, because of the border, it is essentially a sociopolitical island for Belizeans and referred to as such in this blog.

Along the way, our driver introduced us to Belize City, pointing out a ton of delicious looking restaurants for everything from fried chicken to jerk chicken to grilled seafood to Chinese food (which apparently you can get with jerk chicken or any other kind of mix and match!). I wish we’d had time to explore Belize City a little more, but the ferry timing made it a bit difficult to plan, especially with the holidays. He also shared some personal stories to contextualize the city, including:

• Gang violence is extremely common in Belize City and he personally got so sick of hearing constant gun shots at night that he moved from the south side to the north side of the city (from what he shared, it sounds like gang violence also targets non-gang members pretty indiscriminately and that gang initiation requires prospective members to shoot random targets)
• A lot of Americans (sigh) and other folks come to Belize (and especially the islands) because the rules are perceived as lax – in particular, since the islands rely heavily on golf carts vs. cars, many people come to party and test out their “drinking and driving” skills (c’mon, guys). When we rented a golf cart, we explicitly agreed not to drink and drive, but we did see people with open beer bottles in the cup holders of their golf carts and/or actively drinking while driving on both islands we visited
• People who live in Belize City also enjoy the islands and they (and students) get a discounted rate for the ferry / water taxis and the two local airline companies that operate ~13-minute flights on Cessnas between Belize City and both San Pedro Island and Caye Caulker
• The country is significantly underdeveloped and economically stagnant; most people, especially around the holidays, pick up extra shifts as he did and work Monday through Saturday (or if you’re lucky, Monday to Friday)
• Belize has a 12.5% tax, so on a recent ‘tax free’ day, he and a lot of folks stocked up for the holidays

Despite some of the heavier topics included in his overview, he was upbeat and incredibly chill – I’d almost say he was the archetype of the laid-back Caribbean person (every other sentence ended or started with, “Man, …”) from the short conversation we had. After waiting to pull into the ferry terminal, he clicked his tongue (“The ferry is jammed up, man!”) and we pulled into the parking lot, since he knew the back way to enter.

Somehow, in the 45 seconds or so we stood waiting while he parked, two guys on bicycles came up to us and one mumbled, “Want a joint?” Sadly, he readily accepted our, “Nah…” so we didn’t get to put our elementary-school-engrained D.A.R.E. scenarios to use (I still can’t believe how much money and time was dedicated to teaching kids that strangers would aggressively offer them drugs, and for free!).

Anyhow, we then proceeded into the experience that is the ferry terminal. First up, you hand your luggage to one of the men wearing a branded ferry t-shirt, who asks which ferry, tags it, loads it on a wagon, and hands you a claim stub. Then, you go to the ticket office and actually buy the ticket for said ferry, hoping they’re still available. While waiting for the ferry, I attempted to go to the bathroom, which required $.50. However, it turns out they don’t accept US quarters, only Belizean quarters. You can’t change quarters with the bathroom attendant or at the gift shop, either. Thankfully, we had also just purchased some Jamaican-style patties at one of the restaurants, so I was able to sweet talk my way back into being considered a “customer” and using their bathroom (blessedly, as the ferry didn’t have any restrooms on-board!).

After waiting in a seemingly interminable line, we finally boarded and began the journey northward to San Pedro Island. It’s an incredibly beautiful ride and I can see why locals occasionally do the trip (and why all of the retired Americans in the area island hop so frequently!). If you have no obligations on either end, it’s an excursion in and of itself.

Once on-board, I finally settled in to try the patties and really enjoyed them. The waitress had referred to them as “regular, meat, or veggie” (apparently “regular” is spicy meat, so I got that and veggie). The spicy meat was nice, basically ground beef with diced habanero; the veggie was also delicious, with some type of stewed collard green or similar.

Arrival in San Pedro Island via the ferry is an equally amusing experience – they unload the ferry, then the luggage, and pull the wagons into a giant ring where you stand and hope to see your luggage and catch someone’s attention to match it to the claim stub. They then hoist the luggage over the railing and off you go! After collecting our luggage, our ‘taxi’ pulled up to collect us (mind you, to take us to what Conde Nest Traveler called the ‘second nicest resort in Central America’ – and we have to assume the Four Seasons in Costa Rica is the first!). The taxi, as with all actual cars on San Pedro, had taken quite a beating – no doors had interior or exterior handles (the driver’s side interior worked as did, amusingly, the automatic opener for the van doors) and the rugs in the trunk were coated in green algae. However, Alonso the taxi driver was very friendly and we quickly made our way to the resort (which was as gorgeous as promised).

Once on San Pedro, we got to experience a few of the islands charms before leaving the hotel (even the concierges are super relaxed, so making formal plans for anything was near impossible before our arrival – however, we thankfully had reserved a golf cart for one day). These included:

• The laidback vibes – Belize islands definitely have the archetypal Caribbean feel of no shoes, no shirt, no problem (even the fancy restaurants had sand floors!)
• A beach BBQ, which featured local foods and rum punch
• Lots of bad (great) puns on the word Belize
• San Pedro Island is known as a party island, and even at the hotel, the party atmosphere was constant (but thankfully constrained to certain areas); we were super amused when we went to the in-hotel “club” and ordered their take on a smoked Old Fashioned and the wood-chip smoke was generated… via a gravity bong (I plead the Fifth…)
• Service is friendly, casual, and hilariously direct – we got roasted for our sunburns while ordering lunch one day, waiters would often respond with deadpan sarcasm to (admittedly) dumb questions (“Can I have a box?” | “We don’t do boxes” but… of course they do boxes and we had just seen the table next to us get one, which the waiter knew) and housekeeping just yelled through the door, “You good?” while stopping by to see if we’d like turndown service
• A wonderful Boxing Day band performance by local youth – apparently, indigenous Belizeans traditionally would wear masks / costumes and drum from door-to-door and this tradition has been incorporated across the country in various forms; ours included the traditional flag twirling and marching band choreography you’d expect (pictured below!)

I really enjoyed it – despite the laidback vibes, it was a really fun, welcoming, and yet luxury service experience.

We also tried a variety of food at the Belizean restaurant on site, enjoying:

• Conch soup (pictured) and seafood stew (both were delicious and cream-based, almost like a chowder but with Caribbean spices / habaneros)
• Tikin Xic (also known as Pescado en Tikin Xic) – a Mayan dish that includes snapper that’s steamed in a banana leaf bundle with coconut milk, adobo de achiote and sour oranges; this was by far one of the best dishes we had
• Grilled salmon with honey jerk sauce
• Belizean Seré – a coconut curry dish featuring snapper, okra and habanero; it had somewhat similar vibes to Louisiana Creole food (if you replaced the tomato-base for coconut)
• Grilled lobster – a favorite of every restaurant on the islands (lobster is relatively cheap here!
• Stuffed fry jacks – in this case, a breakfast dish filled with eggs scrambled with bell peppers and onions, but the “fry jack” itself is basically a fried dough that’s then opened and stuffed similar to a pita
• Jerk chicken – similar to what we’d later taste off the island, with a nice nutmeg-forward spice mix and served with a habanero onion condiment (similar to a pico de gallo)
• Chicken stew (not pictured) – similar to a stewed meat you’d put into a taco, but served with the coconut rice and beans; had coconut pepper flavor
• We didn’t try it but were amused by the Belizean take on Surf & Turf (“Reef & Beef”)
• Most dishes are served with coconut rice, which is really nice; many also come with the Belizean style of pico de gallo, which has habaneros instead of jalapenos
• Of course, we ordered everything with Marie Sharp’s, the local hot sauce

Of course the drinks were also a treat!

• Coconut Mojito – instead of the traditional drink, this was a frozen version that felt like a milkshake
• Tiberon rum
• Real Havana Club! I haven’t been able (to my knowledge) to find it anywhere we’ve traveled since I visited Cuba in 2015 and it really was worth the slight upcharge since the flavor is great
• Landshark beer – an easy, refreshing beer (most commonly seen on catamarans and in golf cart cup holders…)
• Belikin – the classic, goes with anything

Our first off-resort experience was a trip to the Belize Barrier Reef and the Hol Chan Marine Reserve / Shark Ray Alley. We apparently booked too late to go through the hotel, so instead used a local tour operator (and I’m glad we did!). We shared a taxi with another couple from the hotel, who shared their arrival story with us on the short drive to the dock. They opted to fly one of the two local airlines from Belize City, which is a ~13-minute flight. Apparently, they have captains lined up waiting for the next flight and once a quorum of passengers has arrived, they’ll select the next captain and then start to load passengers to achieve the correct weight distribution for takeoff. According to them, it wasn’t that scary or much more turbulent than a normal flight – that being said, I think I still agree with our taxi driver in Belize City: “Man, I don’t fly those planes… if we’re going down, I’d rather already be in the water on a boat than hitting it from the sky.” The little planes fly fast, so it was hard to get a good photo!

We arrived at the dock, where two twin catamarans awaited: The Seaductress, and the Seaduced (I’m not kidding with the Belize puns!).

Up first was the snorkeling component of the trip, which takes place in the Hol Chan Marine Reserve right next to part of the Belize Barrier Reef (the reef is apparently an UNESCO protected site!). Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of sargassum (pronounced sarcasm with a g instead of a c) and the recent storms had churned up quite a bit of debris, so the water was pretty cloudy. That being said, we still saw:

• Several sea turtles, including two playing with each other
• Large schools of snapper and marlin
• Angel fish, lion fish, and a fish I can only refer to as “rainbow fish” (it had kind of a blue / red tint going on)
• Several sleeping nurse sharks – apparently nurse sharks are one of the few that can actually sleep, since most sharks need to move constantly in order to ensure water passes through their gills. Nurse sharks, however, can nestle among the rocks or coral in areas where there is a strong enough current to stimulate their gills without being ‘awake’ and actively moving
• Several types of coral and seaweed, including one coral that the guides told us would sting for hours if we touched it
• We didn’t see them snorkeling, but over the course of the boat ride (which included a visit down to Caye Caulker) we also saw bottle-nose dolphins and a Portuguese Man of War jellyfish

The second stop of the snorkeling portion of the trip included a swim with the nurse sharks, who have been trained to swim among people as they seek out chum thrown into the water. We were a little apprehensive but figured why not, and so, I can proudly say I’ve swum with sharks (and not in a cage, just like… in the water about four feet away).

After that, it was time for rum punch, beer, and fresh shrimp ceviche as we made our way to Caye Caulker for lunch.

Since our trip was on Christmas Day proper, not too many places on the Caye were open, but we were able to stop at Elva’s Crab Shack, which was doing a customary holiday beach barbeque featuring fresh Caribbean lobsters and jerk chicken (all meals came with a side of coconut rice, beans, and coleslaw, as well as fried plantain).

We were lucky and somehow got in line early – as a result, we got to do a little exploring on the island as well. The food was absolutely delicious – this was my first experience with “real” jerk chicken and the freshly grilled lobster was also phenomenal. Apparently, since the islands don’t have much wood, dried coconut husks are used instead and that (as well as the charcoal) gives the food a great flavor. Of course, we tried the hot sauce (the local favorite is Marie Sharp’s – we saw about 30 flavors when we stopped in a local grocery store, but most places only offered the red habanero).

With lunch completed, we strolled up to the far end of the island, where a variety of backpacker bars with hilariously bad names offer in-sea drinking experiences (think, the Lazy Lizard, the Drunken Eel, etc.). The island is known as a backpacker paradise and for its super laidback attitude, so there frankly isn’t too much to do (we could have fed tarpons, apparently a type of fish), but wanted to relax a bit more. We weren’t super impressed with the backpacker restaurant vibe, so we wandered back to the central area and ducked into a beach restaurant where we shared a delicious piece of key lime pie and some festive drinks.

On the way back to San Pedro, we started talking with one of the local guides, Luis, as we’d heard him and the other locals speaking to each other in a language we didn’t understand. He said he speaks 5 languages: English, Spanish, Belizean Creole, Sarcasm and Bullshit. Honestly, I think all Belizeans are fluent in at least 4 of those!

A few days later, we had our second off-resort experience, a full day exploring San Pedro Island via our own golf cart. After a primer on how to properly secure it (a lock bar with a very rusted lock!), we were off.

We started by heading north, actually crossing a bridge into the northern part of the island onto the land shared with Mexico (most people only venture up from San Pedro to hit Secret Beach, which is only accessible via this bridge).

Initially, I wanted to light a candle at one of the churches there, since that’s a traditional I do in every new country I visit in honor of my grandmother, but unfortunately the church was closed (and the land around it was pretty flooded).

So, we backtracked across the bridge and headed for breakfast: Casa Pan Dulce Bakery. We both tried the humbligo, which are fluffy sweet breads with a small dollop of coconut cream. My husband also tried a ‘mini’ chicken empanada, much to the interest of a very sad (but well fed looking) dog on the patio.

Then, we backtracked further to the main shopping and restaurant area of town, conveniently located near “central park” (never mind that Central Park is on the beach and therefore not actually central). After finding parking for the golf cart (I had to pull a Washington, D.C., and reverse 2/3 down a one-way street to pull into one), we ventured out on foot.

First up, we found the San Pedro Catholic Church, which combines island décor and Christian themes beautifully – I especially loved the stained glass and the thick wooden doors. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find a candle to light, so I just made a small donation instead (sorry, Grandma!).

Next, we headed to Lily’s Treasure Chest, a lovely seafood restaurant on the beach. It’s famous for its conch ceviche and fried chicken, so of course we ordered both.

The conche ceviche was incredible, especially once we sliced up the optional habanero pepper slivers and mixed them into it. The conch has a nice, slightly meaty consistency (somewhere between cooked scallop and calamari) and really takes to the fresh lime juice, tomato and onion flavors.

The fried chicken was also great – the batter was super flavorful and extremely crispy. The coconut rice was also incredibly fragrant. Since everywhere was on island time, it was already after 1pm by the time we finished, but it was well worth it.

Up next, we went to the Tiburon Rum tasting room, which is conveniently located just a block away. Tiburon is one of the first Belizean rum brands and we got to taste their aged rum, overproof white rum (surprisingly smooth and apparently their best seller!) and an infusion of cocoa and coffee into the aged rum, crafted by the mixologist giving the tour (delicious!). Interestingly, they’ve also recently branched into tequila and have partnered with a Mexican producer in Jalisco to begin their own label.

While doing the tasting, we also learned that Belize City has been replaced as the capital of Belize by Belmopan – apparently after a series of severe hurricanes in the 1960s and 1970s, Belize decided having a capital city 5-6 feet below sea level wasn’t the most effective idea, and they moved most of the government offices inland towards the border with Guatemala. They also built a large seawall around Belize City (one interesting feature of all the Belizean cities we visited was that none of them, bar certain parts of Caye Caulker) have true “beaches” where you can wade in from the sand. Both San Pedro and Belize City have walls (you could jump in, but we didn’t see a single person swimming in the Caribbean during our entire time there outside of the swim out bars in Caye Caulker).

After the tasting, we proceeded to our next stop: Elvi’s Kitchen, a highly acclaimed and more “fine dining” restaurant in San Pedro, known for their delicious chicken stew. Unfortunately, the chicken stew was long sold out, but we tried their grilled Maya-style snapper (delicious) and incredible Caribbean red curry (instead of Thai spices, think sweet / savory peanuts, plantains, lobster, and jerk spices). Of course, we also had to have their famous frozen key lime pie – it didn’t disappoint! It also seems that even fine dining restaurants keep the sandy floors.

After that, we were full and tired, so we wandered back to our golf cart, enjoying some of the murals, signs, and advertisements in Belizean Creole.

The advertisement means “This is our chicken”.

We also laughed at some of the signs meant for golf carters – including one that said, something like, “Take our boat to Secret Beach, your boobs and butt will thank you!”

We did make one final stop – to the drive through coffee shop, where you can pull your golf cart right up (you can also walk up to the window, but where’s the fun in that!).

We meant to go back to the grocery store, but didn’t make it when we had the golf cart – however, we were super amused to see that Belizean groceries sell Costo-branded items (we noted the Kirkland Sangria, the Kirkland vodka seltzer bottles, and a variety of Kirkland dry goods being sold individually with somewhat conspicuous stickers over the ‘not for individual sale’ labeling), about a thousand varieties of hot sauce (I really wish I’d gotten to try some additional Marie Sharp flavors!), and the original Four Loko (of course). They had a ton of beautiful peppers as well.

Our Belizean adventure ended early this morning (as of the time of writing), when we woke up at 5:30am to catch a taxi (Alonso again!) to the ferry, this time taking it to Chetumal, Mexico. We had a flight at 1pm booked, so we should have had all the time in the world to casually get to the airport (we delusionally even thought we might have time to visit the Maya Museum and grab lunch first!).

Our misadventure began at approximately 6:09am, when we learned that the ferry leaves at 8:30am, not 7:00am. Ok, fair game, it starts in Caye Caulker and then visits San Pedro before heading to Mexico, honest misunderstanding of the timetable. We then proceeded to fill out the Belizean emigration forms… thrice, as minor errors kept popping up (no mark outs, accidentally put first name – last name, etc.). Then, we waited for a border control agent to arrive to process our exit payment. About 30 minutes after the exit payment, a different border agent arrived to process our emigration paperwork. Then, about an hour after that, the ferry actually arrived, carrying with it about 40 passengers from Caye Caulker who, you guessed it, had to then process both. 8:30am came and went. We learned Chetumal, Mexico is an hour ahead. Some type of border control issue arose, and 9:00am came and went. We learned the ferry is actually 2 hours, not 1 hour and 30 minutes. Our chariot is pictured below.

Finally, at about 9:15am (10:15 Chetumal local time), we began our journey towards Mexico, after a brief stop to drop off (presumably) a Coast Guard employee.

Things were going great until about 2/3 into the trip (~11:30am Chetumal time) when the main engine started sputtering and then finally died. Not to worry, it’ll be a “fifteen-minute delay” since the other engines were still working. Not so. We limped along, the coastline in the horizon staying about as far as away as it had been for nearly 45 minutes.

Keep in mind, we were still smelling the sargassum (which, by the way, smells like methane, so if you’ve ever spent time near a herd of cows you’re familiar with a certain scent…) and, a (relatively) stationery boat makes a nice perch for every bug looking to hitch a free ride across the water. You can feel the fun we were having from the photo below.

Finally, at about 12:30pm (our flight was anticipated to board at 12:37pm and takeoff at 1:20pm), we pulled into the dock. Despite being lined up to be first for immigration, Mexican citizens and residents were understandably called forward first. It wouldn’t have mattered – despite promises to bring out our luggage first, we still had to wait for a wagon full of bags and then clear customs (for all the revisions on the Belizean side, they didn’t tell me I’d apparently bungled the Mexican customs form too – looking back, I don’t know how I struggled so hard, you’d think this was my first international trip not my nearly 80^th country, but in my defense, I filled it out at 6am). Thankfully, it was a quick revision and we were running for the taxis, speeding toward the airport, flying into the terminal… only to see AeroMéxico had understandably closed our gate and we were SOL. We tried buying tickets on the spot for the only remaining flight that afternoon, but sadly didn’t have enough time for the bags to make it.

So, we regrouped and walked across the terminal to the train station. Thankfully, the Yucatán has a great train system called Tren Maya, running between Chetumal and Cancun. We got tickets for the 4:30pm train, gave up on our goal of getting to Mexico City (much less our next destination, San Miguel Allende), and opted to fly out of Tulum tomorrow.

Obviously, this was no one’s fault and time tables run awry and parts break and travel delays are part of a long itinerary (lest I forget the time I was trapped on an Amtrak between Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. for nearly 12 hours!). I have to say, the San Pedro Express water taxi team did a great job of communicating, keeping everyone calm, and doing what they could to help us at least attempt to make our flight, which was deeply appreciated. I certainly would still recommend the ferry to anyone.

We also had lunch – after all the fun of the day, I opted for some good old comfort food in the form of Ramen Diablo (and the train has tequila!).

And, as a bonus, we got to explore the train station a little bit (and thankfully, I rescued my debit card from being eaten by the resident ATM). I learned a few fun facts about Chetumal, while we were waiting (again, my translations so apologies if I’ve misstated anything):

• The modern city of Chetumal was founded in 1898 after a few attempts to populate the area; it was originally named Payo Obispo
• Porfirio Diaz ordered the founding of the city in order to curb illegal commerce with what was then British Honduras (Belize). In 1915, it was converted to the capital of the Quintana Roo territory and then in 1935, converted to a federal territory and given the name Chetumal
• The city (self-described as on the frontier of Mexico and Belize) received the Maya name “Cháak te’ éemal ‘Alli donde bajan las lluvias” or “Chakte mal ‘Donde crecen los árboles rojos’) – interestingly, these two translations don’t match (at least to me); one means “Where the rain comes down” and the other mean “Where there are red trees”)
• Apparently, the first populations arrived here around 320 BCE
• The city’s architecture is influenced by the English colonization of Belize, which they describe as “Victorian Caribbean”. This is a departure from the Maya house, which would have been constructed from big planks of wood
• The downtown has a Maya museum and a government palace, as well as some original architecture (I almost wish we’d stayed to see this!)
• There is a manatee reserve that was established in 1996 just off the coast
• There are many diverse, Prehispanic cities in the area
• The city has significant mestizaje heritage (mixed indigenous and European), especially after a Spanish sailor named Gonzalo Guerrero was captured by the Maya in 1511 and married a local Maya named Zazil Há, producing a daughter named Nachán Can. Guerroro ultimately integrated fully with the Mayan culture and became a military leader and actually fought against the Spanish conquistadors

I also liked that all the signage had Spanish, English and Maya as well.

Tren Maya has been a great experience – in a stroke of luck, there’s a 2 for 1 deal today, so we only had to pay for one ticket. The cars are clean (cleaned somewhat constantly, it seems), there is (limited) food and drink available (including refreshing cerveza and tequila!) and the A/C is extremely delightful. We did have one amusing moment upon boarding (as there are assigned seats) – seats assigned for coach 3T on Train 604 are actually located in coach 4; those for coach 3T on Train 604A are actually located in coach 5, and coach 3 (it’s all the same train!) is actually the cafeteria.

All in all, a great vacation in Belize. My only recommendation would be to make your travel days as relaxed as possible with some buffer time on either side!